I'll write this one while buzzed on Captain. Alcohol mutes my senses and makes me feel full and fat. It makes me laugh easily and ignore loud sounds. I feel sleepy and full and pleasantly unwilling to engage the world. Or rather, to engage the world only for my own pleasure, without regard to anyone else's feelings or needs. Babies can be crying and I don't notice, and when I do, I don't really care enough to help. It feels soft and numb and quiet. But it is false - far away from everyone else and ultimately stupefying.
We watched a movie from a selection of compiled horror films at our friend's place tonight. I am shocked that soft core porn can be purchased at Walmart! We all were. It was very bad and very funny. It is interesting to me that over-the-top blood and violence is amusing or at least not offensive, but realistic horror or war films like Saving Private Ryan make me very upset and sad. Violence isn't funny, but we make a whole industry out of it.
Anyway, while in the grips of alcohol's gentle blurring embrace, I'd rather think of pleasant things or not at all. Good night.
1 comment:
ha ha - I got drunk last night too, hanging out with two new women friends who are poly, a bit kinky, androgynous. I think one of them was trying to get me drunk and to be honest I was generally shocked to be reminded of how people go out and start drinking pints and shots and all. It was quite silly and fun but over all I prefer my engagements without alcohol. As you said - false and far away. I miss you my friend! *long distance huggings*
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